Doesn't it always seem like your children listen and behave for other people better than for you? I totally think so. This can be rough...but, I would much rather my children misbehave for me and be angelic for others. It always feels nice when people tell you how good and well-behaved your children are for them.
Brady's teachers (well, he's only had 2) have consistently told us how well-behaved he is. He was one of the only students to score Excellent on all "behavior" type elements such as listening, etc. Now, as his mother, if I gave him a report card...it would not be filled with E's for Excellent. But, that's okay. Again, I'd much rather other people tell me how wonderful he is. I already know it, but it is nice to hear especially after a day full of timeouts.
Brady's current teacher has a ticket system. Green = AWESOME, Yellow = broke a rule, and Red = broke lots of rules. Each day the children are given a ticket based on their behavior. For every 5 green tickets...they get a prize from the treasure chest. My goodness - you'd think they won the lottery. At the start of the year, once you were given a yellow ticket for the day, you could earn back a green one if you behaved for the rest of the day. However...we are now at a time in the year where once you earn a yellow ticket for the day...you CANNOT change it to green with good behavior.
Yesterday, when I picked up Brady from my parent's house, Brady ran up to me with excitement. Then, he immediately told me he got a yellow ticket. He was very upset and showed me the yellow ticket in his backpack that was scribbled with his wrong-doings....smacking kids on the bottom. No, the kids were not giving each other spankings, they were just playing a game...apparently. Needless to say, it was unwelcome behavior and earned several kids a yellow ticket. Brady was DEV-A-STATED. Seriously.
I went outside to say goodbye to the 'rents and when I returned Brady was at the counter with his head down. He was obviously sorry for his behavior. We packed up his things and went to the car. In the car, Brady said he was sorry for the yellow ticket...and of course, he wasn't the only one that got one. Looking at his face, it was filled with sadness and regret...it was plainly obvious how sorry he was. I couldn't even bring myself to punish him by any means...he had surely done that on his own.
When we pulled into the garage, he got out paper to write a sorry letter to his teacher. I helped him write the letter and he folded it and put it in his backpack. When the Hottie arrived home, I quietly whispered the yellow ticket situation...but, Brady quickly ran over to explain what happened.
Neither one of us could even force a timeout. It was all we could do not to laugh (I know sounds awful). The poor kid was sorry - he did not need us to tell him he was in the wrong...he knew it - that was certain. The kid is definitely like me. I punish myself more than anyone else could.
p.s. the Hottie said he wasn't sure what was so wrong with what Brady did...after all...they were just giving each other "good games." Oops...like father, like son.