Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm Pregnant, I'm Pregnant, I'm Pregnant

I've been yelled at for neglecting my pregnancy on my blog.

It's true. I'm pregnant. Yep, I'm pregnant.
You see, although we are very happy...this is a VERY big shock to us. In March of 2002, we made our first visit to the fertility clinic. We were very young. Although I kind of felt we had a problem...we really did not expect to really have a problem. Well, as luck would have it - we did. It would be very difficult for us to conceive.

We went home and thought about it for awhile. Months later, we decided we better get a head start as this could be a lengthy ride. The younger the better with fertility. So - on the fertility roller coaster we went.

Lots of testing and needles and medicines and doctor visits and pregnancy tests and hospital visits and crying and even laughing followed for the next many, many months. Finally, we were blessed with Brady. We were still young. We lucked out - all the science technology worked. Every single moment of my pregnancy was SUPER EXCITING and new and everything we had waited for.

2 years later, it was time to give it another shot. We wanted another baby. Unlike most other people, when we decide to give conception a shot - we must make a doctor's appointment to schedule the conception. Kind of funny...kind of not. We like to make jokes about it - I think it makes it easier. When you go for baby number 2, you start all over. Lots of testing and needles and medicines and doctor visits and pregnancy tests followed. This time, the doctor was a bit concerned. He suggested we move on to IVF. You see...apparently this was my best chance at having a baby. My body did not respond very well to the meds...and when they increased them just a bit - my ovaries went crazy and produced pretty much a bazillion eggs.

Think Octomom times 5. So NOT happening.

Every cycle during those months was halted due to over stimulation. The doctors did not want to take any high order multiple chances...THANK GOODNESS!!! Neither did we. So, off to IVF we went. Many, many more tests, LOTS more needles and medicines, and a long hospital stay happened next. But, good news - 2 months later...we were expecting. Yep, Lily was born almost 3 years after Brady.

After Lil...we never said we were done. I think it seemed to final. Bryan was good with 2. I was good with 2...but, I really had wanted more. Then, Lil started getting older and becoming easier. We were getting more and more settled into having 2 cuties. I guess we still never completely ruled out another - but, certainly had not made any appointments for conception.

Going through fertility treatments, you often hear about people that had trouble having children and then all of a sudden...they got pregnant. People would tell us that they know someone that did IVF and then got pregnant a few months later on their own...or that they knew someone that adopted and then got pregnant right when the adoption was final. We would kind of dream about something like that happening. But, knowing our issues - we never really imagined it could actually happen. September of 2009, when I randomly took that pregnancy test and saw "pregnant" pop up immediately...I was literally in shock.



I felt like a 16 year old girl telling her parents that she was pregnant. Bryan was stunned. We seriously had no idea how this happened. Well...I guess we knew - but, could not believe it. We weren't trying. Not at all. I took about 6 more tests that all read pregnant and made an appointment for the next day to confirm. The doctor, too, confirmed the inevitable. I was pregnant.

Miraculously, I was pregnant.

We kept it a secret. Well...for a couple days. We then spread the word to our very close family. We were still in shock. For the next couple weeks and months, at every doctor appointment, I would continue to be shocked that I was still pregnant. I guess I was in denial.

Does that sound bad? For years, we had dreamed with almost no hopes that such a thing would happen...and it actually did. We should have been jumping up and down and screaming out loud to the world. But, we weren't.

Were we happy? Yes.
Were we shocked? Definitely.
Were we scared? Yes.

An unplanned pregnancy? Very strange in our books. This kind of thing was so far from our normal that we did not know how to react.

The word is now officially out to everyone. We are beginning to make some preparations for what is needed. We have told the cuties and they are so excited that it makes my anxieties fade a little. The baby girl is very active. I can now feel her regularly and with each movement, it makes me more and more excited. I do feel guilty that it has taken so many weeks for me to begin to feel such excitement. Yes, we were excited from the start...but, nerves and shock and fear seemed to overpower the excitement.

So, I now vow to get on the pregnancy happy train. Put my fears behind me. Have faith that it will all work out. And prepare to bring this little girl into a very excited and loving house. She has a big brother that already tells her good night and blows her kisses and a big sister that insists her name will be Ella.

I always wanted Lily to have a sister...I got my wish.

Here we are - me and baby girl Campbell. We're not sure on the name. It is different depending on which one of us you ask. Yep, I certainly look pregnant.

p.s. sorry about the longest post ever. i guess i had a lot to say....


April said...

"Ella"...Cute cute!!!

Ashley said...

LOVE this post! I'm SOOOOO HAPPY for you guys and can't wait to meet this little cutie!

Megan said...

Congratulations girl!!!! You look precious pregnant... I'm seriously jealous... we aren't pregnant, though we are trying... but I'll never look THAT good pregnant :-) I look like that when I've eaten too much pizza :-)

Krystal said...

YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Ekk! Another little girl Cutie! Im so happy and excited for you and the Hottie!

Robin said...

I really think Lily is on to something...I love the name Ella! This is a great post and you look gorgeous pregnant. I can't wait to meet your new little bundle.

Jacki said...

Dawn, I love this post too! I have to say I love the name Ella. I am so happy for you and your family. I am also so happy that you can start to enjoy your pregnancy,I can't imagine the fears you must have had. God has really blessed you.

Em said...

so exciting!!! it took us 2 years to get brennan. clomid finally did the trick. heaven bless those fertility drugs. little miss gibson on the way is also a clomid baby. so glad i finally found a doc that was serious about helping us:-)

J said...

Your sister, Ashley, is a friend of mine. I have looked at your blog from time to time but today I STALKED I think I read/skimmed every post and I fell in love with all of the CUTIES! :)

I just wanted to say this post brought tears to my eyes. I too have struggled with infertility and we are now moving on to adoption and to say I don't secretly dream for this kind of miracle would be a lie.

I know little Charlotte is already born but I wanted to say Congratuations on your pregnancy and her birth.